Today i read My Utmost… and this message of O.C just hit the nail on me. He said, ‘Stubbornness and self-will will always stab Jesus Christ. It may hurt no one else, but it wounds His Spirit. Whenever we are obstinate and self-willed and set on our own ambitions, we are hurting Jesus. Every time we stand on our own rights and insist that this is what we intend to do, we are persecuting Him.’
My faith community had finally recognized my gift and passion in the ministry of Praise and Worship, and so I was told by the leadership to assist the ministry. Seeing and knowing the problems within the group sometimes cause you to react on the promptings and rumblings of those who are wanting to help but frustrated with how things are going. The ‘”you must do this and you must do that’ sometimes would push you towards the wall and say to yourself, ‘yeah, i must do this and that, no matter who gets hurt or crushed’.
Well, that’s just exactly what i felt last night when plugged by well meaning women around me who got frustrated with ‘this one man leader of the ministry’. Yes, they meant well and the ideas are good, but should i really be bullheaded on this? I want change too! I want system and I want to be organized too! Or… should I give the man the benefit of the doubt yet?
Nevertheless, I still gave my honest to goodness opinion, but some of it just probably wounded the Holy Spirit, that’s why today He just summoned me in His court and talk straight with me… and this is it…
For those who understand my predicament, ‘I beseech thee in view of God’s mercy’, please pray for me. Thanks much and God bless you too.